“You don’t have to give birth to someone to have a family.”
Been awhile since we last connected. Leila is now 7 and more expressive than ever. I am fascinated by her facial expression, her use of hands, and her intonation when she delivers a message. Sometimes I find myself simply focusing on her animation and in wonder of what comes from her lips. We are all a part of the human race and I remembered being enamoured by my brother’s children, my stepsiblings’ children, and my cousins’ children. However, my time with each of these gems was intermittent, so I wasn’t as blessed as their parents to see development unfold. How fascinating we all are as a species!
I am presently surrounded by paper, unopened mail, laundry to be put away, a Christmas tree that has to find its way into the box for another season, a dishwasher to be emptied, three unfinished books, a bill to pay, and myriad of other ‘things’ to be done. What is important to me right now is to connect to you. All of that will be accomplished in due time, what may not happen if I leave the computer at this moment to tackle the to-do list is an opportunity to return to this reflection. Leila is lazing it out on this frigid day with the iPad and her healthy smoothie.
How does one prioritize ‘the stuff’? The first priority is easy – Leila; the second is work. They are both pretty much full time. Both at this stage pretty much define me at my very core. Both provide me the opportunity to live my purpose, to believe that what I do can and does make a difference. My hope is that one day I will watch Leila cross a university stage to receive a degree. Lots can happen and my hope may not necessarily be her aspiration. Like me wanting her to play basketball and she insists the only sport for her is hockey. See I can compromise OR can we do both??? Yes, no living vicariously through the child. Yes, no going back to relive the excitement and fulfillment of a sport I loved.
The work I do keeps me grounded in reality and possibility. Life is roller coaster and it is best served by knowing the playing field isn’t level. Best to be grateful for what is and accept that any changes lie in my capable hands. I share this statement because sometimes I experience sadness of what I no longer have in my life or think I could have in my life or that sometimes I feel that my life isn’t mine to navigate. When I see the chaos in the mess, yes you minimalist everything requires a place and if there is no place, then something must go. One day – I promise. Life can be overwhelming and then I look at the child.
When I was born, I was born into a perfect family – a mom, a dad, 3 grandparents, 3 great-grandparents, and a huge extended family. When my siblings arrived, well they were supposed to arrive and our life continued to be perfect. At the age of 8, my world was turned upside down and my heart ripped apart. At the age of 55 my world was turned upside down and my heart melted back together. The circle of life, we just need to be open to the possibility love will find us.
Have an absolutely wonderful Family Day.