Last weekend Leila and I experienced our annual girls’ weekend, sadly for the first time without Kristy. This year we returned to Blue Mountain, only this time we actually stayed on site.
The weather was chilly, however didn’t deter our exploration and fun. We balanced activity with rest. In previous visits we strolled through the village, ate at a restaurant and of course, painted at Crock-a-doodle. This time we took the gondola up the mountain and hiked the trails, played mini-golf, rode the mountain roller coast, tried different restaurants, returned to Crock-a-doodle, read, created art projects, and simply became better acquainted with each other, which is a lifelong process. Leila discovered a new young reader series, which thrilled me. She has taken to imitating my evening ritual of reading before sleep. In the car on long trips instead of the iPad, it is a novel she opens. Sometimes words are not required.
So, let me share a Leila moment that occurred in one of car conversations. Are you getting a sense that many of our insightful talks occur while we drive? Today is Meet & Greet for next season’s hockey team and part of the preparation the players had to submit 2 numbers of choice for their hockey jerseys. Let me set the stage for the TiTi revelation. For as long as I can remember Leila has been #30 and she has grown quite attached to # 30, especially after last season. She struggled coming up with the second number but settled on #29 – Vegas Golden Knights was her team this year Marc-Andre Fleury was the goalie. Both numbers were submitted, then the text came back, would Leila take #29. Rather than answer for Leila, I informed the coach I would discuss the proposition with her and get back to him.
Leila’s response was different than the response my 10-year old self would give. My 10-year old self would resign myself to #29, feel bad for a bit then move on. Leila asked, “Why did she have to be #29? Good question, why? Rather convince her she should simply resign herself to 29 to make it easier for the coach, I responded with “that is a good question”. Not wanting to respond to the coach without an alternative to address the fact two players want number 30, I asked her what suggestions I could give the coach to decide who gets number 30. She had 2 solutions – flip a coin or pick a name out of a hat. I checked in with her to remind her she may still end up with 29 and she was fine no matter the outcome.
The conversation continued because I wanted her to know how proud I was of her decision to question the request. At her age she was already in a position to ensure her voice mattered and that she wasn’t expecting things to go her way, she just wanted a fair chance. I also commended her for having strategies to decide who gets #30.
These are the moments to treasure, because these are the moments that give a snapshot of what the future decision-making process for Leila could look like when she is making her way through adolescence and along her career path.
Take time this week to find your voice based on your hopes.
Loads of love
Anna Maria Barsanti