There is a part of me that wants to scream YIKES!! Just one more hour, one more day – anything to give me time – stop the time – PLEASE the scary room is scarier; the paper work is over flowing; maybe if I just get a green garbage bag and throw everything in I can just start over. Forget it – been there done that and I end up in this same spot over and over again.
The time I need is to accept. Accept that my priorities are in the order I choose. I like to write so I write. Writing takes time. I like to connect with people, so I connect with people. Connecting with people takes time. I like to go on little adventures with Leila at least once a day. Little adventures take time. I like to work on projects or ideas that will make the difference in the lives of others. Working on projects takes time. And sometimes all that brings joy happens in a short period of time. One would think the universe would appreciate a person’s good intentions and leave them alone. Not so much – the computer my partner in so many ways, likes to shut me out. Have met some really nice technical people over the last while. Oh and that thing we call life, that thing, that thinks challenging you is the best way to make you strong – is one day going to get a real piece of my mind, except I have to keep what I have for now.
Okay, got it out of me. Today I want to focus on how the curiousity and courage of a little child becomes a source of curiousity and courage for the caregiver. Can I really let Leila zip line or travel down a 450m-cement water slide on a mountain in the rainforest alone? Probably not. Could I find someone else to take my place as the guardian? I guess. Who loses if I do? Me, of course. What I have learned as a caregiver, if I want Leila to be strong, courageous, determined, brave, open to opportunity – I need to model it. And this, my friends is scary. Zip lining was on my bucket list, not Leila’s. She doesn’t even know what a Bucket List is yet. The day Leila and I joined a large group of people from the wedding was the last Saturday of our trip. There was a part of me, that just wanted to stay by the pool, not move, except I was the one who bought Leila a t-shirt with a monkey on a zip line and she was more than ready. Why was I willing to let an opportunity I wanted slip by?
Our agenda for the day – zip line, water slide, lunch, horseback riding, mud bath and pools. What a well-run machine! The organization of the day was smooth. The people at each stop were professional, time conscious, friendly, and helpful. Leila and I did it all. Leila has taught me I can do more than I think I can. This experience could have disappeared in a blink of an eye because in one moment I thought I was tired. Yet this agenda excited me the moment I learned of its existence at the beginning of the week. However by the end of the day I was pumped; maybe it is not about how old you are – it really is about your attitude. Again I ask, why was I willing to let an opportunity I wanted slip by?
Who robs us of opportunity? Looks like the answer is simple. If you want life to be full, fill it. And by full, I don’t mean going full out every day with an agenda that doesn’t allow time to breath. By full I mean act on your purpose, give yourself some breaks, and savour the moments. So sometimes there is a mess, life is messy and life is joyful. I am beginning to think they go hand in hand. What do you think?